when you stare at the abyss, the abyss stares back at you


2007. reflect. to enjoy. knowing. there will. not be another year like it.

I have been having an enjoyable week – not working, not looking, not doing anything that required any serious thinking.

Had happy times at my gran’s birthday lunch, janice’s housewarm (well done Jan!), tam’s family gatherings, watching “I am Legend” (Will Smith rocks!!), Gabbs’ BBQ (yummy chix wings and very cosy apt) and just tinkering & chilling out at home, playing with scamps (the rabbit wannabe dog) and generally spending some “slow time”.

2007, to me, was marked by too much thinking – thinking about the moving into my lovely house, thinking about leaving a good company for a risky unknown, thinking about how to manage a mortage loan, thinking about how to make things work when Murphy decides to just poke his bloody head in.  Thinking is like a muscle, you need to use it or lose it, utilise it or watch needless mistakes pop up everywhere. People who have known me long can attest to the fact that 1) I do tend to over-think (not over-analyse) and 2) when I think too much or too long, I can get rather grumpy (or is it frumpy?).

Still, to make my point, 2007 was a year of milestones in a way.

Reflecting back, which I tend to do while on the threadmill (hey, if you have 30 minutes of running, your mind WILL wander), 2007 was the first year that I found myself stepping up to base and getting ready to pitch. Moving out of my dad’s place will forever be both a sweet memory and at the same time, a really fast rush to tackling reality. Without going back into the joys and pains of living independently or the decisions that led to the the action, I found out for the first time, in many cases, what it is like to no longer have the luxury of knowing that I can fall back on somebody older, wiser or more experienced when it came to managing a household. Simple things like creating and keeping to a grocery budget or dividing household chores took sharper focus once the resourcing came from both mine and Tam’s time and wallets. There was no “Dad” to inform that the airconditioner was leaking (1 week after moving in) or that “A” bugger from upstairs was throwing cigarette buds into my patio (3 weeks) or even to cast an eye on insurance matters (4 weeks and thanks Amanda!). It wasn’t so much as not being able to approach family but rather, an attitude that begins with “if not now, when?” and ends with “if I do not try now, then when?”.  I am happy to note that 9 months down the road, moving out of home is still one of the better decisions I have made.

Leaving Text 100 was another milestone earlier this year. It was, in some way, home for 3 years. It was where I grew up from brash, young event “entrepreneur” to brash, experienced marketeer. Text did take some of the rougher patches (some would say more over-confident bits) off and while not decidedly honing to a finer edge; that was more a result of me ending the relationship unexpectedly earlier that both parties had reckoned. At the end of day, I am thankful to many people in Text for taking a chance on an events person and not writing me off when I was a PR freshie. Moving into a risky unknown, was and still is, not my style. Whatever results from a decison, I will settle what is due. Leaving Text was a calculated risk, to those familar with the story, my rationale is still the same. To those still asking, the public reason still remains, if I don’t attempt to understand another side of the story, how will I know which nest is best?

2007 was also highlighted by la whole lot of travel in the later part of the year – Maldives, Sydney, Bangkok (twice!), Seoul and the SIBU sea kelong (in March or April). Man, the travel bug has bit and it sure ain’t letting go!! I love travelling – being gifted with the freedom to explore, to observe other cultures, to see how other people live and react in their environment, to taste foods cooked with familiar tastes or rustled up in different styles. The marketeer lives in me. I strongly believe that nothing replaces being able to move into a place you are interested in and just plop yourself down and just watch, listen and digest. There was a period of about maybe 4 years where I hardly left Singapore, with only short jaunts to KL or BKK to keep me sane, all for the sake of trying to be more financially comfortable. I know that I am lucky to have the opportunities I have to travel. Thank God for that. Being out there, and being able to not be Singaporean for a week is therapeutic. It’s not about being unpatriotic or anything, but rather just being free to be an “every-man”, who does not specifically originate from somewhere, provides that breath of fresh air. If I made sense I did, else it doesn’t matter.

2008 is around the corner, and I know that I will miss this past week of longer hours and slower activity. If I am seeing you in the next couple of days, let’s eat, drink and be merry. If not, again, if i am feasting too much and forget, then my sincerest wishes for a happy, merry and wonderful 2008 to you and loved ones. *grin*


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